Saturday, May 13, 2006

life's complicated! not urs. but mine.
must be wondering why i am mentioning this right?
well, the most obvious reasons is that my family is.... hmmmm... satu-satu sumer buat perangai~ cam ner siol!
dah lah bapak cam gitu. mak pulak cam gitu. adik aku pun same jugak!
siak kan!
abih aku pun satu DOL! perangai tak ubah2!
cam siakkkkkkkkkentalllllllllllanunnnnnnnnnnn ahhhhh!!!!!!!!

bingit siak! frust tonggeng tau tak!
wat if the divorce shitz gonna really happened?
mum asked who i wanna follow?
mama or abah?
wat the fuck siak!
i'm just.. so... feeling... so...in-secured!
i need both of them by my side even thou... wat? i'm turning 20 soon?
wat does that means? i could live on my own?
then wat? i have to take care of my sis?
a big fuck to U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so u think i have no problems?
i'm always putting up a face, smiling, laughing,entertaining, joking, make-a-fool-outta-maself, and all that shit...
fuck u!
ok listen here peeps, i've grown up from a fuckingly fucked family background. i'm a no rich-man daughter, i'm a lazy arse, so lazy that i cant even wash my own undies, panties, g-strings, tongs, bras, wateva. i dont do my own bed. i just tossed and throw things ard the house. i live just to eat. i eat n eat n eat till i'm bloated. i love to eat. i love u to eat me. i love to eat u. i go to sch only for the sake of going. wasting my mum's money for the past 1 yr. 3 fooking K! ok might be more with all the expenses donated to art fucking friend! fuck u art fucking friend. fuck u la fucking salle! fuck u foundation fucking studies! fuck u communication fucking design!
eh! i want my fucking results lah!

i miss my beloved bf so much!

my mum just couldnt stand my dad no more. so, for how long more should she wait? 1 yr? 2 yrs? 3 yrs? mum says she wanna leave us when i'm done with sch! fuck! then what? leave us all alone?
i just don't know. i'm in a fixed position right now. who should i believe? my mum? or dad?
mum's have been picking up on dad's past mistakes. not only him, but his entire family. on how they treated her so badly. she's an indonesian, doesn't mean she should be bullied and treated like a blardy maid? agree?
my beloved mum stayed in the same fooking house with her in-laws and was being appointed to do the dishes, cooked, washed clothes every morning, clean the house, serve the other families with foods to that fucking 6 other families! meaning 13 ppl live in that house! and 3 other couples would come everyday to eat! so which means, 13+(3x2)=19 ppl to served!!!!!!!
what the fuckkkkkkkkkkk!
and when she 1st arrived in singapore, dad dint work for yrs n years n yrs!!!! no money to buy food when she was having me, mengidam nak makan burger, $1 pun tak der siak! tu pun nak kene pinjam nek cu! then when she gave birth to me, the whole fucking day, no one brought her food! fuck u! and no new clothing for mum for the next couple of years even during hari raya! fuck u! she wasn't allowed to work! she wasn't allowed to earn her own money!
n who doesn't allowed her to do all that?
the greatful mother-in-law.
mum is now smarter then u! it's true! my mum, Rosnawati Bte. Muhd. Yusuf the is the best mother in the whole world! she's so humble but she's strong. she's weak-inside, but she's strong.
mama, u're the best. i love u mum!
so mum advised me to get and to have a good relationship with my future-mother-in-law.
the issue abt marriage, and divorce is a hot topic between me n mum now adays.
to get a good husband is another thing. not a drug-addict. not a drunken shithead. not a lazybum. not a bummer who goes on living ur money and finishing ur money. not a guy who doesn't give and take. not a guy with a bad mouth, taking shitz abt u and ur family. and the list goes on.....

so, u think being Amimah is COOL?
heLL No!
u're wrong.

as for now, i'm being so thankful that we have a shelter to live in. money to feed us. fucking dad who's not been thankful for all these blardy years that my mum have helped him. fuck him. may he die with all his bottles and 4D tickets, peacefully. amin. oh! his name? amin.

happy mother's day mama.

BabyDoLL's Written Sins @ 11:41 PM